Today is October 1, 2023 /
Today is October 1, 2023 /
Attend the b’nei mitzvah Information session. Submit service selection form.
Receive bar/bat mitzvah date in the spring.
Receive your B’nei mitzvah Torah and Haftarah portion at a framing activity.
Family BBQ
Start working with the Cantor as part of “Torah Corps”
Engage in sessions with the clergy to learn more about what it means to become b’nei mitzvah.
Start working through the 13 Mitzvot.
Participate in the “World Wide Wrap”
Continue to work with the Cantor as part of “Torah Corps”.
Participate in the “World Wide Wrap”.
Continue to work through the 13 Mitzvot.
Attend services to learn the melodies and rhythms of the service.
We invite parents to accept the honor of being a Shabbat greeter. Participation will increase your comfort with the service, and allow you to interact with fellow congregants. Discover an enjoyable experience in becoming the welcoming face of our community! Please choose a date within the year of your simcha.
Regularly check-in with Rabbi Arnowitz on one’s 13 Mitzvot journey
Begin to plan for a Mitzvah Project with the rabbi if interested.
Begin individual tutoring with the cantor or tutor (if not participating in Torah Corps).
Attend D’var Torah Group Workshop
Plan on when to attend "Build a Blessing" workshop.
Choose your bar/bat mitzvah service greeters and let Kim know who they are. Consider partnering with another family celebrating this year to be greeters at each other’s services. This helps the day run smoothly.
Request an officer/trustee for gift giving honor (for services not on Shabbat morning). Invite a particular trustee or officer directly if desired.
Discuss siblings’ participation in the service with the cantor.
Guest List - Be considerate and invite either less than half the class, or the whole Religious School class (if your child attends RS) so that peers do not feel left out.
The office will confirm that all synagogue payments are current. If there are any concerns contact Kim or the Executive Director, David Goldstein
Room Decorations - Families may order a Bimah floral arrangement or use the WJC silk floral arrangement for the sanctuary. Families may also plan for flowers for the kiddush. Please let Kim know of your plans
Confirm party plans with the office.
Plan for Kiddush. Notify Kim if you plan on using an outside caterer for Shabbat morning kiddush and parties. Or discuss with Kim the options for using WJC’s in-house kiddush.
Sisterhood Tree of Life Program - Sign up here for a leaf and/or speak to Kim.
Email a .jpeg photo of the bar/bat mitzvah and the 75-word write up to be printed in WJC’s monthly newsletter to Kim at Kim@wjcenter.org. Please include your child’s name and bar/bat mitzvah date in the subject of the email. No need for the child to introduce him/herself since his/her name will appear in bold directly over the blurb.
Order Kippot and women’s head coverings. Remember to purchase bobby pins or clips as well as a basket if you have a preference.
Tallit and Tefillin - Choose and order the tallit for the bar/bat mitzvah. Tefillin is encouraged for boys and girls. Sisterhood members receive a 20% Gift Shop discount.
Plan for Shabbat accommodations if needed.
D’var Torah - Kim will reach out to set up meetings with Rabbi Dalton to discuss your child’s D’var Torah.
Programs- Contact Kim if you wish to create descriptive booklets.
Party counselors- For evening receptions, WJC will provide security personnel. We strongly recommend that you retain “party counselors” to supervise the activities of the children. You are responsible for any damage to the building resulting from its use for your reception.
Order Bimah flowers if desired. Some families, in lieu of or in addition to floral arrangements for the Bimah, provide food baskets to distribute to one or more social agencies in our area.
Kiddush - Let Kim know the approximate number of guests, and confirm kiddush plans.
Photos - Arrange with Kim and clergy for photos to be taken during the week in the Sanctuary. Reserve the sanctuary with Aleza Kulp.
Students will begin practicing their synagogue skills with their tutor (Cantor Goldberg or Cantor Alcott) “on location” in the sanctuary. The goal is to get comfortable with the space, Torah scroll, microphone and other aspects of the sanctuary. If possible, these will occur during the regularly-scheduled tutoring time. If that is not possible, an alternative time can be arranged. Parents are welcome but not required to attend.
Morning Minyan - Speak to Kim or the clergy to make arrangements for participating in a morning minyan immediately before or after the bar/bat mitzvah day. The clergy can help you borrow or purchase Tefillin.
Honors - Give Cantor Goldberg a list of those being honored and their relationship to the bar/bat mitzvah.
Inform Kim of:
Number of guests
Names of guests for security purposes
Reception details
Confirm staged photos in Sanctuary
Candy - Prepare a maximum of 25 small bags to be distributed to adults only.
Special Accomodations - Notify the office to make any special arrangements
Kiddush “Schnapps” - purchase a bottle of scotch to be placed with the kiddush wine. If kiddush is catered, remind your caterer that they must provide small shot glasses of kosher wine on a tray.
Havdalah spices and candle (for Mincha/Ma’ariv b’nei mitzvah): Prepare approximately one bag for every two adults. A Havdalah candle can be purchased at the Sisterhood Gift Shop.
Make plans for leftover food to be picked up and donated to local agencies on Sunday.
Shabbat Decorum- Actively encourage your and your child’s guests to use appropriate behavior while attending religious services and remind them: appropriate dress, no cellphone usage, no smoking, no cameras, no live or recorded music. Their respectful and enthusiastic participation in the service is how they can celebrate you and honor your friendship.
Hired Buses-Remind the bus company that rented buses may not enter synagogue property during Shabbat.
Confirm Honors - Give Cantor Goldberg a list of those being honored and their relationship to the bar/bat mitzvah. Remember to include full Hebrew names where indicated.
Shabbat Morning Honors
Shabbat Mincha Honors
Things to Bring to WJC
Kippot, bobby pins or clips, women’s head covering and bobby pins
Baskets for above items
Bottle of Scotch.
Arrange with Kim for dropping off items or any other vendors.
Catering- Food deliveries must be completed before 2:00 p.m. on Friday.
Flowers - Flowers must be delivered before 1:00 p.m. Friday, and not removed until after Shabbat. Flowers may only be placed on the far side of the Bimah, not on the steps.
Gratuities - Gratuities for custodial staff are not included in your fees. While optional, they are truly appreciated.
Arrival - bar/bat Mitzvah families arrive ten minutes before services are scheduled to begin. The family usually sits in the front row, right side.
Bring
Your child’s binder for his/her readings
Your child’s D’var Torah (also in the binder)
Your speech/words to commemorate the mitzvah
Extra list of honors
Candy in basket
Optional customized booklets
A bottle of water for your child
Spices and Havdalah candle (Mincha/Ma’ariv service only)
Now relax, and enjoy this wonderful and spiritual occasion! Mazel Tov!
Takes pleasure in honoring you with an
Hagbah
The one who lifts the Torah
Upon being called for your honor, please sit next to the rabbi. You will then proceed to the right side of the Reader’s Table.
When it is time to lift the Torah, please stand in front of the Reader’s Table. Holding the two wooden handles at the bottom of the Torah with each hand, slide the Torah toward you so that approximately half of the Torah is off the Table. Then proceed to push down the handles toward the floor, thus lifting the Torah up into the air. Hold the Torah up so that the congregation can see it.
It is tradition to open the Torah while holding it high so that three columns of the text are visible to the congregation. However, if you feel that this will cause you to drop or damage the Torah please do not attempt to open it that wide.
With the Torah still held up high, proceed to the seat immediately next to the rabbi’s. There, someone will tie and dress the Torah. After the Torah is dressed properly, someone will take the Torah from you and place it in the holder on the side of the Bimah.
When the Torah is taken from you, you may return to your seat. As you do so, please allow those on the Bimah to congratulate you on your honor.
Reminder: Men must wear a kippah and a tallit.
Takes pleasure in honoring you with an
Gelilah
The one who ties and dresses the Torah
Upon being called for your honor, please sit next to the rabbi. You will then proceed to the right side of the Reader’s Table.
When the Torah is lifted from the Reader’s Table, it will be brought to the seat next to the rabbi’s. Follow the Torah to that seat. If the Torah is at all open, take the top handles of the Torah and roll it tight. You will then be handed the tie, which is placed around the Torah and buckled in the front. The mantle (cloth cover) is then placed over the Torah with the design facing the person holding the Torah.. The pointer is placed on the left handle. Someone will then take the Torah to the holder on the side of the Bimah.
When the Torah is taken, you may return to your seat. As you do so, please allow those on the Bimah to congratulate you on your honor.
Reminder: Men must wear a kippah and a tallit.
Takes pleasure in honoring you with leading
A Prayer for Our Country
Upon being called to the Bimah, please take a seat. You will then proceed to the right lectern (facing the congregation). You then begin the prayer, and the congregation will join in.
A Prayer for our Country appears on page 177 left margin of the siddur. The text also appears below.
Our God and God of our ancestors, grant to our country the will and wherewithal to fulfill its calling to justice, liberty, and equality.
May each of us fulfill our responsibilities of citizenship with care, generosity, and gratitude, ever conscious of the extraordinary blessing of freedom, ever mindful of our duties to one another. Bless those who volunteer to labor on behalf of us all; may they find the strength and courage to complete their tasks and fulfill their dreams.
May our judges, elected leaders, and all who hold public office exercise their responsibilities with wisdom, fairness, and justice for all. Fill them with love and kindness, and bless them that they may walk with integrity on the paths of peace and righteousness.
Creator and protector of all, watch over our armed forces and all those entrusted with our safety, as they daily put their lives at risk to protect us and our freedoms. Be with them in times of danger; give them courage to act with honor and dignity, as well as insight to do what is right in Your eyes.
Fill us all with the gifts of love and courage, that we may create a world that reflects Your glory. May we each respond to the charge of Your prophet, “For what does Adonai demand of You- but to act justly, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with Your God” (Micah 6:8). May the one who brings peace on high bring peace and prosperity to our world and keep us in safety. And let us say: Amen
Dearest God
I thank you for the opportunity to see my beautiful grandchild take his/her place in her synagogue and with her/his community.
(Child’s name),
May you be blessed to grow in good health.
May you always have a good mind and a warm heart.
May your soul reach out to others and to God
Never doubt the love of your family
Never doubt the strength of your community
And never doubt yourself.
Today you are a great source of pride for me and our family. May you feel the same pride in yourself and may we all be given the opportunity to share moments like these for many years to come.
Westchester Jewish Center welcomes your contribution to any of our listed funds.
